tell her you are moving to africa, then move to africa. live there for the rest of your life
ahh school… *inhales deeply* the sweet smell of a flawed education system and high stress levels
“I’ve lost weight” I announced.
Everyone congratulated me.
But Weight was the name of my son.
I moved into a new house and I was looking out my window on the second floor and I still have no idea what the hell is going on
I had my hands full but I needed to turn on my light
so I just used my mouth and flicked the switch up with my tongue
and then I realized
OMG HE WAS SLEEPING WITH HIS NOSE JUST ABOVE WATER LEVEL
why is six afraid of seven?
because seven is a registered six offender
i am legit in tears over this joke
i’m funnier in real life but also uglier
literally nothing feels better than being loved by someone who hates everyone
Can we all just take a second to appreciate this opening paragraph on my paper earlier this semester about my experience here at Tumblr omg
I wanna know how you continued from “one of the last place one would expect to have someone come up behind them and whisper, “How often do you masturbate.”
That is probably the best goddamn hook I have ever read.
POST THE REST I AM HOOKED
remember, kids. ”pinnacles” is pronounced
WHY DOES THIS MAKE SO MUCH SENSE
me at the end of the school year.